July 19, 1940 – September 24, 2009
It is with great sadness to announce that Mom passed away today. She was diagnosed with lung cancer on Aug 18th after what she thought was a simply cold virus problem. While the Doctors had indicated that she would potentially have 1-2 years left, it was not to be. We can only hope and pray that she went quick to spare her any suffering. Thanks to all our friends and family for their fantastic support. She was a great person, loving wife, loving mother and friend. She will be greatly missed by all her knew her. You can find some old photos of Mom here.
Moms Eulogy – Part 1
I would like to thank all of you for coming here today to help us, as a family, to heal, and to celebrate my mother’s life. I know that a number of you have traveled great distances to be here. I liked to say a few words about Mom on behalf of all our family and friends. Shelley will also say a few words as well.
Mom was born July 19, 1940 in a little town called Antigonish in Nova Scotia. She was born premature and they had to place her in a shoe box by the oven to keep her warm. She was ready for life and eager to accomplish the things that would make her special.
She met Dad at the Bank of Nova Scotia on Hollis St. in Halifax in 1961. Dad was the Assistant Manager of Operations and Mom was a stenographer. They fell deeply in love and continued to be so until this day. I drive by that building to work every morning and every time I think about how wonderful life was for them and how thankful I am that they met. Mom and Dad had an amazing loving relationship and were the envy of everyone who met them. They were both totally devoted to one another. She was an extremely dedicated wife and followed Dad with every transfer which for the Banking Industry is a lot. She always tried to make it easy for us kids and install fun into the equation. She constantly put everyone else needs before her own.
Mom was so involved with her children. She was a Brownie leader, a supportive coach, an early morning hockey practice fan, and was always on the side lines of sporting events cheering her children on. Whether it was Doug and I at hockey or Shelley at ringette, you could always hear her cheers from the sidelines and it summoned us to do our best and relish in the game. She was once recognized at one of Shelley’s sports banquets as the “Most dedicated Fan”- she was extremely proud of this and mentioned it again the last time Shelley was with her.
One of our most cherished past times was camping every summer at Clayton Lake. We would often stay out there while Dad commuted back and forth to work. We started with tents, moved to tent trailers then to big hard top campers. We went fishing, water skiing and swam at the beach or the Point. We sang around the campfire with all our friends and ate gooey marshmallows, S’Mores and fruit pies. We played Crazy 8’s, Trouble and Yahtzee when it rained. Mom would take these times to talk about life and what was important. I can still remember the day she made me explain the birds and the bees to her. I think I got it right.
She often said how lucky she felt that her children all turned out so well and that we all went on to be successful in our lives. This was not luck. This was because of how she reared us, her teachings and the principles that she instilled in us. She gave us a set of values and ethics that have shaped our lives for the better.
Mom would take us to pick wild strawberries and make us jam and more pies. Mom was famous for her speed in picking berries. No one could out do her passion. The days were warm, wonderful, vibrant and full of life – just like her. We all remember Smarties on our birthday cakes, butter on our noses on those birthdays and money in our pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. She always went above and beyond to make us feel special. It was a ton of work but she never made it seem that way. Her greatest joy was to see us happy and fulfilled. We all take our kids camping now remembering how such great times helped define who we are. We too will carry on this ritual and provide the same legacy to our children.
She always welcomed our friends into the house and all of our friends loved her for it. She made them feel like part of our family. Ken, Lorne, Marc, Kelly, Brian, Stirling, the Boldens, Karen, Linda, Diana, Tina. Everyone wanted to hang out at the Fournier’s. They all loved her so much because she took such a strong interest in them and what they cared about. I can even remember one of Shelley’s friends in Fredericton running away from home to live with us because she had so much fun there.
Mom was someone that people, even strangers, were drawn to. She would often come home with stories that someone she just met had told her their complete life story. She always wondered why. It is not surprising. She took a genuine interest in other people. Although she was a great at conversation, she was also an amazing listener. Mom could always make anyone feel better and always found joy in other people’s happiness. She would lift up your heart even in the saddest of times.
She adored her grandchildren and always got down on the floor to play with them. She wasn’t about buying them gifts; she was about spending quality time. Baking with the kids, the park, soccer, puzzles, walks, building snowmen, tobogganing, cheering at hockey games (she would get so intense, we’d have to tell her to sit down!). She did it all for you: Keegan, Alex, Zachary, Jordan, Nicholas, Matthew, Emily, Meegan, Jacob and Katherine.
My daughter Katherine said to my grieving son Jacob the other day. “Jacob, don’t worry. The angels have come down and have taken Grandma to Heaven” – wise counsel from a 4 year old. Take comfort knowing that your grandmother is in heaven right now, looking down on you. It is time to heal yourself, and to live your life knowing that she loved you very much. Remember her and how she loved to share life with you in simply play.
Mom also liked to play and was the life of the party. She loved to be social and was always planning the next event or dinner party. She could always fill a room with her light, sparkling eyes and contagious laughter. She cooked us the most fantastic meals. Christmas and Thanksgiving were always measured in how many pounds we gained and how much our sides hurt from laughing. She absolutely adored doing things for her family. She loved to dress up and was always the best dressed at any event. She was a proud woman and always gave 110% to whatever cause she put her energy into. Dad told me the other day that her Mom Josephine was of the same ilk. The apple does not fall far from the tree.
She loved working at the Bank of Montreal and meeting new people. Many of her customers would talk to her when they would meet her outside of the bank. She was that memorable. She loved her friends with her 40 years of Bridge and she has a number of special friends at the Madawaska golf club. While the game of golf was a passion of hers and Dad’s, it was also about the people that belonged to her golf community. I have played countless rounds of golf with her and we always had so much fun together. Like her, her drives were constantly straight and true. She was always so proud to introduce me to her friends as her son. Playing golf will never be the same.
Mom was also involved in the Cancer society. She loved to tell the story about how a few months ago, the Society came to present her with a 10 year pin. As forthright as Mom could be, she immediately informed them that she had over 25 years of canvassing for the cause and she would be honoured to receive her 25 year pin instead! It is ironic that this horrible disease that she worked so hard to support would be her demise. We are only grateful that she went quickly and did not suffer.
This is a very difficult time for all of us. Doug, Shelley and I have lost a mother but we can’t even to begin to think of the pain that you are going through Dad. You have lost the love of your life. Know that we love you and support you and will be there for you during this difficult time and after. Mom’s spirit will be forever at your side.
I could go on with the many great things that Mom did and the fond memories that we will always cherish. She was our strength, our nurturer and the glue that kept the family together. Ultimately though, she was more than just a Mom to her children – she was also a great friend because of all her wonderful qualities. We will miss you dearly and we love you. Look down on us from above and continue to guide us in that special way you have done all our lives. Finally to all my family and our friends, I liked to finish with an old prayer:
An Irish Funeral PrayerDeath is nothing at all.It does not count.I have only slipped away into the next room.Everything remains as it was.The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.Call me by the old familiar name.Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.Put no sorrow in your tone.Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.Let it be spoken without effortLife means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.There is unbroken continuity.Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.One brief moment and all will be as it was before.How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.
Eulogy Part II – Mom
M-O-M, 3 profound letters. I LOVE YOU, 3 profound words.
Mom was loved by many. She touched the hearts of all those who entered her life. The last few days have been a testament to this. The number of people who have come to pay their respects has been overwhelming and a sure sign of how incredibly wonderful she was. Some of you were kind enough to share your stories of how special she was to you. I now would like to share a few stories with you about how special she was to her family.
About 10 years ago, a few weeks before Mother’s Day, I sat at the kitchen table reading the morning newspaper. As I perused the pages something caught my eye. It was an add for a contest for the upcoming Mother’s Day. The winner would get an all expense 4 day trip with their Mom to New York City. The requirement, to write a poem about your Mother expressing how wonderful you thought she was and why. My first thought, “Hands down. I’ve got the best Mom. She and I are going to New York! I got up grabbed a pen and paper and began to write down all the wonderful things about our Mom. The list was long but the end result short. I wrote my poem, sealed the enveloped and waited for the phone call announcing that we’d won. Needless to say, that call never came. What did come of it was a special poem that to this day sits framed on my Mothers bedside table. She once told me that she reads it every night before going to sleep. I’d like to share it with each of you as it truly captures what Douglas, Kevin and I feel for her.
For all nine months you carried meFor the childhood I dream of stillFor the values you instilled in meFor my character and willFor all these things I thank youFrom the bottom of my heartFor you, my friend, my MotherMy strength right from the start.
Mom was also an incredible Grandma. A true hands on Grandma who was not afraid to get down and dirty. It was the Labour Day weekend that just passed. The kids and I were coming to Ottawa to visit with Grandma and Grandpa. I had a sickly feeling that this may be the last time for the kids to see her as she was. I forewarned them in the car that Grandma might not be the ball of energy she normally is. They asked about her illness and whether or not people die from it. I was very honest with them. Meghan then popped up out of the back and announced “Well Grandma is not going to die, she going to be at my wedding” Well Meghan, and Matthew and Emily, Jacob and Katherine, Keegan, Alex, Zachary, Nicholas and Jordan, Grandma will be at your wedding. She will also be at your soccer games, your hockey games, your dance recitals, your first driving lesson, your graduations. She will always be with you. So whether you are feeling sad, scared, happy or heartbroken, know that Grandma is there to share it with you. You were all her pride and joy and she will live on in each of you.